June 4, 2012
May 16, 2012
My puppet and ghostwriter, Matt D. Wilson, talked to the folks at Things From Another World about THE SUPERVILLAIN HANDBOOK. Learn the story of how we met:
Matt D. Wilson: I was working as a reporter at a newspaper when he took the entire staff hostage one afternoon. He asked, "Does anyone here read comic books?" and someone pointed to me. Next thing I knew I had a bag on my head and was on my way to a theater where my eyes where held open as I was forced to watch propaganda films about K.O.'s achievements. I don't know how long I was there. Days? Weeks? Months? Anyway, after the films ended, King Oblivion told me, "You're going to help me write a book," which meant, "You're going to do all the work while I try to turn the city's water into spoiled milk."
May 14, 2012
Who: Rex Velvet
What: Calling out real-life superhero Phoenix Jones
When: May 1 and May 8, 2012
Where: The YouTube videos above
Why it's a great moment: Even though he's clearly our competition, we have to give Velvet credit for his boldness and his style. He's got a great HQ, an admirable collection of cars, and a great sense of branding with all his mustachioed items. He knows what he's doing.
Rex Velvet, the ISS salutes you.
May 9, 2012
May 5, 2012
Over at The Huffington Post, home of the incredible, villainous tactic of "aggregation," I, though my puppet author "Matt D. Wilson," have provided the public the service of outlining the best (worst) superpowers for superheroes to have.
For example: Mimicry/Absorption.
"Superheroes don't fight fair. They team up. Take the Fantastic Four, for instance. They're always ganging up on individual bad guys, distracting them with their stretching and fire so their rock man can clobber them. Then they scoot away in their invisible bubble. One of the few ways to even the score in a fight like that is to have all the same powers as the heroes do, either by having them from the get-go, absorbing them into your body or learning them very quickly. I mean, that fight's still going to be totally unfair, but at least you can throw a rocky hand right back in The Thing's face."
May 1, 2012
If you wish to purchase our words elsewhere, The Supervillain Handbook has also contaminated the Amazon.
April 23, 2012
April 18, 2012
Lauranne Chinatsu wrote:
First of all, let me say that I received no such email, that I am a very busy supervillan and that you should not ever take that tone with me again, or we will have a legal dispute that will end with an associate of mine who dresses like a barrister turning you into a powdered wig.
Now, let's get down to business about this legal dispute between you and your ex (with the lack of a hyphenate there, I assume this means your ex-you, the person who used to be you). I have a wide array of implements I could use on this person to make sure that the former you never yous in this town again.
If you're all about simplicity and directness, consider a vaporizing ray. If you'd prefer something more clandestine, perhaps a locked, private room in which you use a vaporizing ray.
If those ideas aren't to your liking, we could take steps to make your ex-you into someone who was never you, thereby eliminating your problem. It's a very technical process, but basically what we do is remove all of your ex-you's DNA and replace it with someone else's DNA. Doesn't matter who, we'll just find somebody.
I hope this solution is to your liking. Since this has technically been a legal meeting, I am a supervillain and I took a four-hour break in the middle of this to do some online shopping for cloaks, I'll be sending you a bill for your DNA.
Please pay accordingly.
E-mail the iss at firstname.lastname@example.org.