by The Merchant of Menace
So we've been watching this year's Olympics, and though NBC thought they could get it by us, we've noticed that the whole ordeal seems to be, and maybe has been for decades, a training ground for superheroes.by Doktor Maxwell von Puppykicker the Third
by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
The Summer Games in Beijing are under way, and though they've already had more than their share of deadly stabbings and lip-syncing, several things are missing from the XXIX Olympiad that we feel ought to be included to make them something other than cure for insomnia.by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
It made more money than God and everything, but, frankly, "The Dark Knight" was so six days ago. I think we can all collectively now say, "Two-Face who?"by The Villain High Council
In our previous installment of the movie preview (a delightful journey back in time to the first half of the summer), we made fun of a whole bunch of films that had already come out.
by The Villain High Council
Okay, yes, we're, like, three months late with this movie guide. We're sorry.
But we seriously had this plan that was going to wipe out the entire eastern seaboard and replace all the people with our automatons.
...Shit.
We were playing Grand Theft Auto IV. But hey! Now we're back. And here's some jokes about the movies from May to mid-July. You know, the ones that you've already seen.
by Darth Obvius
For everyone not in Japan, the baseball season is right around the corner. In the second part of our spring training recap, The-ISS sees what the Cactus League revealed for the teams that let their pitchers "bat."
by Darth Obvius
Pull up those stirrups, America's national pastime is back. What can fans, and Congressmen, expect this season? The-ISS takes a sneak peek.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
Cancer, apparently, hasn't seen "Roadhouse." If it had, this disease would know when to stay home.by Doktor Maxwell von Puppykicker the Third
We quickly summarize (mostly) good films so you don't have to watch them.by The Taxidermist
I don't care what it takes, I'm going to get you your scripted TV back.by The Villain High Council
We tried our damnedest to preview every movie coming out over the next four months, but while we were working on this we stumbled upon the fact that Rob Schneider is not just in a movie set for release at the end of April called "Big Stan," but that he directed it. Horrified by the prospect of a world in which Schneider-directed movies can exist, we went into a three-day coma. But luckily, we wrote some snarky comments about other movies before that happened.by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
Last month, Warner Home Video graced the world with yet another version of "Blade Runner." Now fans can delight in the fact that they indeed have a "final" cut, which is basically the director's cut with prettier colors and a couple shots added in.by The Indomitable Professor Universe
Musicians are a lazy bunch. They focus their energy on writing songs or being a kickass keyboard player or whatever, and when the time comes to name the group or solo undertaking they seem to be content to brand themselves with overused, hackneyed terms.by M. Tyrone Darklord
Get your No. 2 pencils ready, and see just how closely you were paying attention to popular music this year.by The Villain High Council
Much like our look a few months ago at this fall's movies, we decided pretty quickly when we started taking a look at all the movies coming out this holiday season that there are just too damn many, and some of them we didn't really feel like writing jokes about.by M. Tyrone Darklord
Chicks and dudes alike prefer bands with the word "black" in the name.by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
Television writers may be on strike, but that doesn't mean your favorite shows have to go off the air.
TV executives have plenty of ideas for new episodes of all of America's favorite shows.
Here's what you can expect to see over the next few months, as the well runs dry.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
Neighborhood creeps are finding new ways to tamper with Halloween candy putting sugar-loving children and parents in danger.
The following list has been assembled for your protection.
by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
What will celebrity gossip bloggers say when the most famous of us kick the bucket?by M. Tyrone Darklord
Halloween is here and that means you need a costume. In fact, you not only need a Halloween costume, but you need a current costume.by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
Now that Radiohead has revolutionized the way records can be released, how can they top themselves next time around? Can they possibly do it? Don't worry, they've got some ideas.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
The Chicago Cubs haven't won a World Series since 1908. Many blame the Curse of the Billy Goat. As they enter this year's playoffs, they will have to overcome this infamous curse, and a few others, to become world champions. What follows is a guide for new and old fans.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
Some critics are able to overcome these handicaps and keep us posted on the latest and greatest music.
Most, however, manage to turn thoughtful essays about contemporary rock into irrelevant, navel-gazing diary entries. They are familiar with the following:
by The Villain High Council
When the Evil Editorial Board here at The ISS decided to preview all of this fall's upcoming movies, we quickly came to the realization that Hollywood puts out a holy hell of a lot of stuff. There's like, three or four every week, at least! And so, we decided to just talk about the ones we felt like in this preview of the films coming out over the next three months or so, two of which inexplicably star The Rock.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I wanted to follow the director’s instructions, I really did. And I know that people don’t regularly smile during public funerals. But Maggie Gyllenhaal, I just can’t stay somber around you.
by Baron Von Monocle
Every personality has strengths and mine are perfectly suited for playing the game of rekop - the exact opposite of poker. I have the attention span of a hummingbird in a blender, the pattern recognition of nineteen year old mother-of-three and the ability to transmit my emotions to people who aren't even in the room. There hasn't been a worse combination of skills and occupation since the case of the kleptomaniac bomb disposal expert. I've been forced to work harder and smarter to develop strategies for the green felt table, strategies I will now share. You're welcome.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
Anyone at Lollapalooza, or anyone who has seen Daft Punk before, knows their show knows no equal. Their set was in a league of its own. It was untoppable, unless one of the following measures is taken.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
The ending of the final chapter of the final book of the Harry Potter series was kept hidden until the eve of its anticipated release. What could not be kept secret from The ISS are these endings, rejected from the final draft by author J.K. Rowling and recently stolen from underneath her bed.
by M. Tyrone Darklord
“You want big wows with this sort of entertainment, and the wows here are medium.”