by M. Tyrone Darklord
Dear Maggie,
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I wanted to follow the director’s instructions, I really did. And I know that people don’t regularly smile during public funerals. But Maggie Gyllenhaal, I just can’t stay somber around you.
We were both dressed in black, appropriate for anyone in mourning. But each time you walked by I couldn’t help myself. I had to smile. Even though you were at least 40 feet away, my insides filled up with sunshine every time you passed.
As star and extra we didn’t mingle, and you are far too professional to break character and shoot a smile my way. And yet, there was something in the corner of your mouth that betrayed your true feelings. The start of a grin? A flirt with a smile? The edge of joy? Maybe the light reflecting off Aaron Eckhart’s perfectly coifed hair played tricks with my mind, but I swear I saw you return my playful wink.
Would our emotions be the same at a real funeral? If, by chance, we found ourselves separated by the coffin of a mutual friend or business associate would our happiness swell inside us and overflow as we lock eyes as it did that first day on the movie set?
I think the feelings would be just as strong. Maybe that day, away from the cameras and other extras, we could share a moment as warm as the sun reflected off Aaron Eckhart’s beautifully styled mane. Perhaps we will share such a moment at his funeral. Then again, I don’t actually know Aaron, although I understand he likes horses.
Maggie, we’ve got to stop sharing emotional space like this. We should be providing one another mutual, non-sexual joy somewhere we can be open with our feelings, not at these silly funerals from movies and my imagination that stifle our passion. Let us run among the sunflowers in the prairie, shining golden like the hair on Aaron Eckhart’s head. Let us laugh and drink lemonade at the zoo. Let us throw a Frisbee at the beach as sand shifts beneath our toes.
You may wear black again if you wish, but know this: I can’t stay somber around you, Maggie Gyllenhaal.
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