by King Oblivion, Ph.D.
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a bowl of Corn Flakes?
A: One has tusks and a trunk, the other is a part of this complete breakfast.
-Knock, knock!
-Who's there?
-Kellogg's Rice Krispies cereal.
-Wow! Kellogg's Rice Krispies Cereal?!? What a delicious way to start the day! Come on in!
Q: What did one Pop-Tart say to the other?
A: "Boy, we sure are covered in sweet icing and filled with nutritious fruit filling!"
-Knock, Knock!
-Who's there?
-Tony the Tiger!
-Tony the Tiger who? ...Actually, I'm just kidding. Of course I know who Tony the Tiger is. He's the lovable mascot for Kellogg's Frosted Flakes Cereal. He says "Theyyyyy're Grrrrrreat!"
-That's right, Kevin. And Frosted Flakes really are delicious, and healthier than you'd think. Check our nutrition facts right on the side of the box.
An Eggo waffle walks into a bar.
"Gimme three shots of syrup," he says to the bartender.
"I think you've got flavor enough," the bartender says.
Knowing that the bartender was right, the Eggo waffle returned to your grocer's frozen foods aisle.
A rabbi, a priest and a Nutri-Grain cereal bar all walk into a butcher shop. Not wanting to get into an argument about religious doctrines concerning meat, the priest and the rabbi split the Nutri-Grain bar and get 10 percent of their recommended daily value of calcium.
Q: What do you get when you cross great taste and 11 vitamins and minerals?
A: Special K cereal, a breakfast food which any grown, heterosexual man should feel more than comfortable eating.
Q: What's the difference between Kellogg's Cocoa Krispies and Nestle's Cocoa Puffs?
A: Cocoa Krispies would never give you throat cancer.
Q: What did one Keebler elf say to the other?
A: "Hey, didn't there use to be three Cinnamon Toast Crunch chefs? You ever wonder what happened to the other two? Like, maybe that guy Wendell chopped up their bodies and mixed them in with the cereal? I mean, that's just speculation, but I'm saying, it's plausible."
The Golden Crisp Bear walks into a bar. Then he mutilates everyone, because he is a bear.
Q: What did one Cheerio say to the other?
A: "Why do we even bother anymore? We are truly useless."
-Knock, knock!
-Who's there?
-Cap'n Crunch!
-Cap'n Crunch who?
-Exactly.
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