The Karl Marx Drinking Game

by King Oblivion, Ph.D.

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  • For every instance in which the history of hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles, take a drink.

  • If the worker becomes all the poorer the more wealth he produces, take a drink.

  • If the product of labour becomes something alien to the workers who have produced it, take a drink.

  • If a worker is deprived of the means of life, take a drink.

  • Take a drink for every time a human function is separated from all other human activity in abstraction as something animal.

  • When life-activity becomes the object of will and conciousness, take a drink.

  • Whenever private property is the result of alienated labour, take a drink.

  • Every time the means of production are held by the bourgeoisie in exploitation of the proletariat, take a drink.

  • When labour finds an expression in value and becomes a commodity, take a drink.

  • When the value of labour-power resolves itself into a definite quantity of the means of subsistence, take a drink.

  • When the bourgeoisie tears away from the family its sentimental veil, take a drink.

  • When religion, the opiate of the people, is abolished, as required for real happiness, take a drink.

  • When the need for a constantly expanding market for its products chases the bourgeoisie over the entire surface of the globe, take two drinks.

  • When property in land is abolished and all rents of land are applied to public purposes, take two drinks.

  • When the communists turn their attention chiefly to Germany or England, take three drinks.

  • When proletarians of all countries unite, finish the bottle.

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