Bone isn't about what you think it's about, so get your minds out of the gutter, people.

Grant Morrison's New X-Men is about cool and inventive changes to the status quo, which the next writers promptly drop in favor of telling the same damn stories.

Dazzler is about...hang on, they actually made a Dazzler comic book? Seriously?

Secret Six is about- wait, back up. Fucking Dazzler? Really? Huh.

Well anyway, Secret Six is basically "Suicide Squad," except now they don't even bother to pretend that the characters are doing the right thing.

The Thing is a great comic that got canceled because nobody read it. :'(

Agent X was a funny, enjoyable comic with the letter X in the title, and therefore had to be canceled.

Spawn just keeps on going, though.

Man-Thing isn't about what you think it's about, so get your minds out of the gutter, people.

Justice League International is about wacky, but ultimately heroic characters who get involved in crazy misadventures.

Countdown to Infinite Crisis was about the characters from "Justice League International" either turning evil or being brutally murdered.

Secret Invasion is about a very conspicuous invasion.

Final Crisis is probably not going to be the last one.

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter is a comic so amazingly bad that they put a pull quote from a sarcastic negative review on the dust jacket.

The closest approximation to a plot synopsis for the Scott Pilgrim books would be a radical ten-minute guitar solo.

Wolverine is about our protagonist getting knocked down, but getting up again, causing some to speculate that they're never going to keep him down. (I'll stop writing song lyrics in place of jokes once the ISS actually starts paying its writers.) (Editor's note: We'll do it the second we make any money.)

Hawaiian Dick isn't about what you think it's about, so get your minds out of the gutter, people.

Youngblood is about characters who are all modeled after Wolverine and terrible anatomy.

Anti-Hitler Comics was a one-issue, 1992 comic that took a less-than-bold stand.

All Hitler Comics was a one-issue, 2000 comic that took a much bolder one.

In the 1990s, Fantastic Four was the stirring tale of trying to get Wolverine, Spider-Man, Ghost Rider and the Hulk into yet another comic.

Marvel Zombies is about your childhood heroes going mad and viciously killing and devouring their loved ones, but it's funny.

Wonder Woman is about a symbol for female empowerment who originated as one of her creator's many fetishes.

The Adventures of J Jonah Jameson: The World's Greatest Newspaperman is about the best idea for a comic ever, and why Marvel won't make it because it hates money and success.

The Flash isn't about what you think it's about, so get your minds out of the gutter, people.

Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose cannot possibly be described in a single sentence.

Exterminape is the hilarious and action-packed story of Teddy Crane, the world's foremost gorilla hitman, and his quest to wreak vengeance on the mobsters who double-crossed him! (This entry was brought to you by Action Age Comics, creators of such comics as Exterminape and Monster Plus.)

Silver Age Superman Comics are proof that God loves bloggers and wants us to be happy.

Small Favors is more or less exactly about what you think that it's about. (Sex. It's about sex.)

Synopses 1
Synopses 2

cautionarytalesofswords@gmail.com