Dear Struggling,
There's only one way to deal with obnoxious kids: Pick him up and throw him over your head. Also, watch out for his elbow punch, because that can be a doozy, and make sure he doesn't pick up any knives or chains. It may also help to tear your shirt off and roar a lot. Just putting that out there.

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Dear Abobo,
I feel like I'm being crushed by my workload. Over the past month or so, my boss has assigned me six different projects to work on. Meanwhile, my coworkers seem to half less than half as much work to do. I'm worried that the company may be taking advantage of my inability to say "no" to things. How can I let my bosses know that I can't do it all?
-Overworked

Dear Overworked,
Have you tried picking up your boss and throwing him over your head? Likewise, have you tried doing the same to all your co-workers as you tear your shirt off? Also, are any of your bosses or fellow employees named Billy or Jimmy? If so, watch out for their elbow punch and any knives or chains they may have picked up.

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Dear Abobo,
A year ago I was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes. It's been hard adapting to the new lifestyle. Before my diagnosis, I couldn't get enough sweets! Do you have any tips for recipes or snacks that might keep me happy without risking my health?
-Craving Cake

Dear Craving,
Here's a tip: Pick up type-2 diabetes and throw it over your head. But I cannot stress this enough: Watch out for its elbow punch. Plus, type-2 diabetes is notorious for picking up knives and/or chains. Keep an eye out for that. And your doctor may not have told you this, but it couldn't hurt to rip your shirt off and roar.

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Dear Abobo,
I was raised in a Methodist church, but I have fallen in love with a man who is Jewish. He wants me to convert, but I'm afraid my family will be mad if I do. How can I make him happy without insulting my family and upbringing?
-Torn

Dear Torn,
Religion is always a touchy subject. But one thing you might want to consider is picking up God and throwing him over your head. But be warned: God has one serious elbow punch, and is even tougher if he picks up a knife or chain. You may have some luck scaring God off if you rip off your shirt and roar.

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Dear Abobo,
A few days ago, I did something I probably shouldn't have. There's this pair of guys in my neighborhood, with whom I've had some problems in the past. I won't get completely into it, but we'll just say there have been physical altercations. Anyway, recently me and a group of guys saw the girlfriend of the one of the brothers, Billy, punched her in the stomach and kidnapped her. Now Billy and his brother Jimmy, karate masters, are coming after us! What should we do?
-Gangbanger

Dear Gangbanger,
I really don't know what to tell you. Looks like you're on your own on this one, buddy. Sorry I couldn't do more to help you, but I write from experience, and this isn't like anything I've ever heard before. Anyway, good luck!

Dr. Sidney Abobo's advice column is published in newspapers nationwide. Be careful when you read it, though. He might pick you up and throw you over his head.

KingOblivionPhD@the-iss.com