So, how many people are going to wear this without realizing that they’re dressed as a serial rapist who shot a pregnant woman in the face?

I am severely disappointed by the presence of nipples on this costume.

I am severely disappointed by the lack of nipples on this costume.

Oddly enough, this costume resembles the comic Nite-Owl’s more closely than the movie’s does.

Rorschach’s mask is supposed to look like something a crazy hobo found in the trash, and you guys still managed to fuck it up. That takes commitment.

If this mask comes with an optional blue penis attachment, I will take back everything I’ve ever said about this "Watchmen" merchandise.

There’s nothing I can say about this that isn’t said on the beanie itself.

DO NOT WEAR THIS TO AN AIRPORT

OR ANYWHERE ELSE

It’s a piece of paper with Rorschach’s logo on it. Rorschach himself probably best summarized the appropriate reaction to this when he said “Hurrrrrrmm?”

Don’t ever
Compromise,
Hit ‘em with the fridge surprise!
Gooooooooo- Rorschach!

Would you really want to eat out of something depicting a man attempting to have sex with himself? Let alone drink from something with a biohazard warning on the label?

Here’s a screenshot from the upcoming Watchmen video game tie-in. Don’t make me repeat that. No word yet on whether there’s a level where you get to split a dog’s skull in half or burn a child murderer alive.

Tales of the Black Freighter: Confusing the hell out of a new generation of "Watchmen" fans!

Oh man, can you imagine how Rorschach himself would react to this? The body count would probably be in the hundreds by the time he was done.

Come to think of it, that probably also applies to Alan Moore, too.

Yes, this is a Dr. Manhattan themed condom. No, it isn’t photoshopped. Yes, this is official movie merchandise. Yes, Western Civilization is truly, irrevocably doomed.

I’m guessing, just a wild guess here, that very few of these are actually going to end up being used in sexual intercourse.