This week, Google unveiled Google Voice, a wonderous new application that basically acts as a clearinghouse for all your phone communication, because who can handle having three different phones, voice mail and text messaging? It's too hard for even Stephen Hawking, we bet.

Plus, who ever actually wanted to hear voice mails when you could just read them? Finally, we can remove tone and inflection from another aspect of our days.

But what about all those other complicated things we have to deal with in life? Google has some stuff in mind for that, too.

Google Fun
Finally, Google has combined all your sliding, monkey-bar and ball-pit needs in one place. Simply log on, and they're right there at your fingertips. They have yet to get the swing coding just right yet, howerver. Hopefully, that'll be fixed in beta.

Google Bathroom
Pooping, peeing, puking and pooting -- it's all here. Users already using Google Poeeukoot already know all of Google Bathroom's advantages.

Google Politics
Who can sort out all the issues we have these days? Gay marriage, abortion, gay abortion. Do we have to have an opinion about everything? Not anymore. Just funnel all your conflicting thoughts into Google Politics, and it'll spit out a label you can proudly display for yourself. Useful for Consocialists and Libero-fascists alike!

Google Peanut Butter and Jelly
Finally, Google's innovation brings these two otherwise irreconcilable foodstuffs together. Innovation!

Google Self-Image
Not funny enough? Too attractive? How are you to know? You couldn't, until now, with Google Self-Image. Just log in, and Google will let you know exactly what everyone thinks of you. Because you want to know.

Google Sex
Twist here, poke there, thrust up, pump down, who can keep up? Nobody. Luckily, the convenience of Google Sex makes doing it as easy as login, password.

Google Google
E-mail, chat, RSS readers, search, analytics, voice, sex, bathroom use, politics, self-image, etc.? Whew! Too much! But now Google puts that all together with Google Google, your source for everything Google does for you. Now you can finally live a life of convenience where you only ever do one thing! Thank Jesus!