Question 1: The thing where the guy and the girl are less than 10 yards away from each other, but talking on cell phones: Is that a joke?

Question 2: How could anyone who made it to senior year of high school not know the difference between the steps he just watched his girlfriend ascend and steps down to a basement, which also happen to be behind a door?

Question 3: In what universe would a hospital allow a slightly John Cusack-y dude to bring a bat into a room and hit a coma victim with it?

Question 4: Would this also be a universe in which a girl heading off to pose for "Playboy" pictures while her boyfriend laid in a coma for four years would somehow be taken as a sign of love for him?

Question 5: That pipe, does it somehow magically make fire come out of a guy's ass? (Sub-question: Why would such a pipe exist?)

Question 6: You got Craig Robinson, and you have him doing that?

Question 7: The girl flying out of a moving bus window to her almost certain death or at least paralysis: Is that a joke?

Question 8: Do lipstick lesbians really have sex by randomly bouncing around in a back seat and/or picking locks with their tongue? (Sub-question: Can I see proof?)

Question 9: The actor clearly being in an entirely different room from the exhumed corpse of a cliche-spouting Hugh Hefner while he talks to him: Is that a joke?

Question 10: What model of Sony HandiCam was this movie shot on, exactly?