Look, nobody's perfect. Sometimes, people get carried away promoting their creative projects and they forget the rules. It happens. It doesn't make us any less of what we are if, say, hypothetically, a supervillain were to extend politeness and maybe just a teensy little bit of forgiveness to a would-be hero in exchange for some free promotion on various Twitter feeds or something, it doesn't make her less evil, okay?
Ahem. I mean, hypothetically, it wouldn't make a villain any less evil.
...
Okay, fine. I'm the one who got in trouble, okay? I'm trying to promote my stupid online horror novel, and there was this whole thing, blah blah blah, and don't judge me. Being a supervillain is hard, okay? It's not all blowing things up and making kids cry and cheating on your taxes. We have to work for our notoriety. You don't just suddenly become infamous when you pick a nifty pseudonym and start running around in a cape cackling.
I'm just going to post the evidence.
First off, when I said, "you're killing me," I wasn't referring to any actual death. It was metaphorical. I'm still undefeated. Deny it and I'll cut your tongue out. This was a direct response to this guy falling through when I gave him the chance to have input on my story. That's a huge deal, and he blew it. So he apologized. That's when things started to get dicey.
Okay, okay, seriously? I blackmailed the guy. Clearly. That is clearly blackmail! I don't go around offering forgiveness, I threaten to remain royally pissed unless the stupid sap does exactly what I say. Totally in keeping with the villainous code! But nooooo, this is "forgiveness from a villain." Why? So he can get me in trouble.
Do you have any idea what it means when the Villain High Council is pissed at you? Do you???
In conclusion, supervillains get in trouble too, I'm now on a personal mission to destroy this little skunk, and I'm afraid to leave my lair without my flamethrower and a henchman carrying sacks of bribe money.
Follow the Twitter madness with the Villain High Council, King Oblivion PhD., Dr. Puppykicker, or yours truly.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sell my worldly possessions so I can bribe the bosses.
Comments
Pwnd.
Posted by: Ken Lowery | March 17, 2009 12:33 AM
I know where you're coming from, though without all of the malevolence and villainy. A while back I was in battle with this clown (he really was a clown) and I yelled "Evil will never win in my town!" Since then there's been nothing but a line of the cheapest, lamest villains this side of the Rockies. You really have to watch what you say whether you're in battle or on the internet.
Oh geez...I know. I'm a hero posting on ISS, but I like keeping tabs. Its fuel for my own blog.
Now, I'm going to warn you villains: I live in a city that likes its hot cup of justice just as much as it's egg and pancake meal; so, come my way and I'll make sure that your evil breakfast of straight sugary-debauchery will never reach the mouths of the citizens. I am the oatmeal to your sugar bombs.
Posted by: Nix | March 17, 2009 1:02 AM
...
Pull yourself together, you're a VILLAIN, DAMMIT! Strife is your goal. Live it. Villains are MEANT to fight each other, it's the only reason we haven't utterly won; lack of solidarity.
So suck it up and do what you do. Fight those who are weaker and make nothing more than pacts with those who can destroy you (but only until you can destroy them). This is the villain ethos. Owe them nothing. You call yourself a villain? Earn it. In bloody autonomy.
Posted by: Punny Gosling | March 17, 2009 4:37 AM
Come now, let's not be too hard on our esteemed colleague, shall we? After all, the worst that could happen is that she might be tempted to forgo her birthright and succumb to the light, in which case we would all be left with one less player in the Game. While that is sad, it does strengthen my own position, so therefore I'm all for it. By all means, deal with the Heroes, it's likely that you'll get the upper hand, at least initially. And if you should falter, we'll be there...for a fee. (not saying why we'll be there, though)
Posted by: Mr. Malignity | March 18, 2009 2:24 AM
You people irk me. I'm not going good, for crying out loud. You'll see. You'll all see. I am pure evil and... ah, whatever. I'll kill you later.
Posted by: Lady Unpleasantries | March 18, 2009 9:03 AM
Actually, even if you did 'go good', it might help you. My MO is stabbing people with daggers while giggling maniacally, but I have enough time to take care of my orphan sister.
See, once I decided to raise the precious thing, I realized she could become the greatest villain yet, save for me. Occasional moments of good spur brilliant evil. Trust me.
Hehehe...
Posted by: The Evil Giggler | October 6, 2009 6:13 PM