Vampires always get the girl, don't they?
"Twilight" has generation of teenage girls taking Nosferatu to prom. "Interview With the Vampire" had Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. And for the kids, "Let the Right One In" showed us even 12-year-olds can't resist vampires' sexual allure.
But why should Dracula drain all the fun away for everyone else? Here are 10 other eligible monsters that could use some love, and the reasons why all the single ladies may want to ask one out this weekend.
Frankenstein
Pros: Great body. Really well put together.
Cons: Only interested in your body.
Phantom of the Opera
Pros: Finally, a man that will take you to the theater.
Cons: A bit over-protective. A bit over-dramatic. Ugh. Why does everything have to be such a big deal with you?
Mummy
Pros: Maybe your only chance to marry a prince.
Cons: Wants you to sign a pre-nup.
Cyborg
Pros: Want a hard-as-steel body that can go all night? Done and done.
Cons: Ex-girlfriends complain he's "cold" and "unconcerned about my emotional needs." Also, doesn't have a soul.
Bigfoot
Pros: Ladies, you know what they say about a guy with big feet?
Cons: If women were still attracted to hairy chests Burt Reynolds would still be working.
Invisible man
Pros: Sensitive. Takes care of himself. Great sense of humor. Gets along with your parents. Humble. Smart. Almost too good to be true, really.
Cons: Never wants to "just cuddle." Also, may be sneaking off with your sister.
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Pros: Loves a pool party. Has a Jacuzzi at his place. Will take you to the beach every year.
Cons: A bit grabby.
Igor
Pros: Steady job. Loyal. Committed.
Cons: No ambition. Did you ask for a raise today? Of course not. You're way overdue for that promotion that was supposed to happen how many months ago? You were never serious about starting your own business, were you? How long are you going to let the doctor treat you like? You've got to start standing up for yourself once in a while. I have no respect for you. There. I said it.
Zombie
Pros: Does this guy ever stop? He just keeps going and going and going ...
Cons: Not much for pillow talk.
Chupacabra
Pros: If Dracula and Donald Trump are taken, but you still want a blood-sucker, try Mexico's resident, and extremely single, goat destroyer. Also, he's Latin. Puede dice "Muy guapo"?
Cons: Displays worst habits of both dog and lizard. In other words, a typical male.
Comments
"You know what they say about a guy with big feet?"
That he wears big shoes?
Posted by: Darth Obvius | March 28, 2009 4:36 PM
I think it should be "puedes decir", not Puede dice. Puedes is "you" whereas puede is "her, him, it". And because you conjugated pedir, it would just be decir. Never conjugate two times in a row.
TL;DR: Everything you learned in 9th grade Spanish class.
Posted by: MedioAnaranjado | March 29, 2009 2:40 PM