As we all know, the 1990s were the worst thing to happen to comics. Here's the second half of our list of some of the most execrable examples of the superheroes that the decade shat out.
Cyborg Superman
Created in: 1990
Why he's an abomination: Cyborg Superman, a.k.a. Hank Henshaw, was created in a mean-spirited parody of Fantastic Four #1, in which he dies instead of getting powers from cosmic rays (har har!). But his mind stays alive somehow and he just up and decides he controls technology. Then he builds a robot body for himself that's just like Superman's! But for some reason he makes it clearly a robot body instead of one that looks like...a real body. And it convinces people! So, take note: In the '90s, episodes in which you die lead to near-omnipotent power.
Saving grace?: Compared to Steel and Sunglass-guy Superman, he was only mildly terrible.
Cyberforce
Created in: 1992
Why they're an abomination: Let's play How Much of a Rip-off of the X-Men Can You Make Your Image Comics Super-team! Let's see, we've got the girl who is exactly Psylocke, pale Wolverine guy, Colossus Man, and Cable rip-off dude. You heard right: Someone thought Psylocke and Cable were worth ripping off.
Saving grace?: They're a 1990s super team without "blood," "death" or "strike" in the title, so at least there's that.
Ravage 2099
Created in: 1992
Why he's an abomination: Paul-Phillip Ravage was the CEO of a company. The ponytailed, scruffy CEO of a company. Then, he got framed for murder, because that happens to CEOs of companies all the time, duh. Then after a few issues, Stan Lee decided to spice things up and make him a CEO who can turn into some kind of demon-beast. The explanation? Radiation, obviously! Oh Stan Lee, you are a delight.
Saving grace?: Ravage got all his weapons and accessories from a garbage dump. That's pretty damn hilarious.
Death's Head II
Created in: 1992
Why he's an abomination: He's an unstoppable cyborg with 106 different personalities and who looks like what would happen if the Predator, Jason and a demon had a three-way love child. But he's nice!
Saving grace?: He went away, never to be heard from again.
Bloodstrike
Created in: 1994
Why they're an abomination: Hey, remember how we asked earlier who would want to create characters that were straight rip-offs of the X-Men? Here's a sub-question: Who would want to create a copy of a copy of a bunch of X-Men rip-offs two years after the fact? Rob Liefeld, that's who. But hey, these guys do have one difference: They're dead! Mind: blown.
Saving grace?: At least there's no "cyber," "dark" or "force" in their name, I guess.
Cable
Created in: 1990
Why he's an abomination: Take a look at this. His origin story and list of powers are nearly novel-length. So, on the one hand, he is a brain-tearingly complicated character. (with very little personality, of course). But on the other hand, he's a badass with a glowing eye who likes big guns and wears costumes loaded with pouches! It's almost as if a childish man drew a ridiculous character and then writers had to figure out how to explain all the dumb shit about him. It's stuff like this that makes me want to go back in time (just like Cable did) and kill the '90s.
Saving grace?: In recent years, writers have managed to take him from completely repugnant to just off-putting.
Spawn
Created in: 1992
Why he's an abomination: There is no better example of the fact that readers in the 1990s wanted a very specific thing from their comics: issue after issue in which the main character whines incessantly while his cape whips around looking all KEWL. Meanwhile, some shit happens very slowly.
Saving grace?: The Spawn title was way ahead of its time. Most comics wouldn't force their readers to pay full cover price for maybe five pages of story until this decade.
Comments
Picking up RAVAGE 2099 as a pre-teen was the first time I got a taste of the real evil man could do, and I knew I had to get a job doing the same.
Posted by: Operative X | June 5, 2009 1:27 PM
Rob Liefeld should be made honorary member of the ISS.
Posted by: TommyTrident | June 5, 2009 2:15 PM
I assumed Death Head 2's saving grace was the fact I reduced him to a pile of miscellaneous limbs, yes?
Posted by: Death's Head | June 5, 2009 4:17 PM