by Doktor Maxwell von Puppykicker the Third
Every now and then, even the evil masterminds at the ISS uncover something so terrifyingly bizzare that we have no choice but to mock it, for fear that it would otherwise destroy our already tenuous grasp on sanity. In this installment, we take a look at a rather unusual tribute to Alan Moore's classic comic book Watchmen.
(Video is pretty much NSFW.)
That's right, it's a burlesque stage version of Watchmen. Apparently, someone read a dense and multifaceted graphic novel deconstructing the American ideals of iconic heroism and responded "Dammit, I can't masturbate to this!"
To help our readers understand this bold reinterpretation, we've thoughtfully provided video annotations below.
0:03
It's nice to know that they had a target audience in mind when they made this.
0:08
I believe this is meant to be a homage to the Roman poet Juvenal's famous quotation "Where Them Bitches At?"
0:20
Wait, is that Grant Morrison? No, this is way too weird for him.
0:28
FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME IT'S JUST 'WATCHMEN" NOT "THE WATCHMEN" IF YOU'RE GOING TO REINTERPRET A BRILLIANT WORK OF ART AS AN EXCUSE TO WHIP YOUR TITS OUT AT LEAST GET THE FUCKING TITLE RIGHT GOD DAMN
To be fair, they don't seem to know how to spell "burlesque" either.
0:44
Is that supposed to be the Comedian? (Comedienne?) Really? That's where you want to go with this?
1:02
Did a Beatles music video just break out?
Minus the music?
1:12
So Walter, what do you think these two silhouettes form?
Yeah, me too.
1:32
Why is everything in slow motion? Is this Zack Snyder's Watchwomen?
1:40
BLADOW!
1:54
Oh my God.
2:00
I'm trying to imagine how the actual Rorschach would respond to this. It's pretty hilarious.
2:26
If the girl playing Doctor Manhattan doesn't take off her underwear to reveal a prosthetic blue dong, then this show will be over before it even begins.
2:31
Did they even NEED to change Silk Spectre's costume?
2:43
I'm going to leave an addendum in my will insisting that my funeral go exactly like this. Exactly.
2:59
You know, they really should have gotten the thick girl to play Nite Owl instead of the Comedian.
3:00 - 3:30
You know what this needs? For one of the girls to be dressed as Alan Moore. I'm picturing a stripper wearing nothing but a massive beard, then taking it off to reveal another, skimpier beard.
3:34
I think that the classic "walking around each other in circles" scene was my favorite part of Watchmen, and I'm glad to see it made the cut.
3:51
Man, I don't even want to KNOW what they're going to do to portray the psychic space squid.
4:00
Dr. Womanhattan is wearing MORE clothes than her comic counterpart. This is clearly unacceptable.
4:23
Yeah, I gotta say, this is doing absolutely nothing for me.
4:56
I have no complaints about this section of the video. None.
5:03
I never thought a combination of my favorite comic book, music from Dario Argento, and lots and lots of boobs could be embarrassingly bad, but there you go.
Comments
Adrien Veidt was a fool. This is clearly a better mind-nuke then a big octopus.
Posted by: Burgomaster Chupacabra | June 8, 2009 10:43 PM
It really comes off more as a tribute to Dream Theater and Bond opening credits sequences than "Watchmen."
Posted by: King Oblivion Ph.D. | June 8, 2009 10:44 PM