But how will I know if Sly won the arm wrestling match for the custody of his son???
i do not want to see you in prison, USE LOGIC to escape the loopholes that exists on this planet. do not let yourself fall into hospitals or prisons.
So...I basically have to live my whole life never breaking the law, getting hurt or getting sick? Okay then.
STAY SHARP, STAY LOGICAL, STAY SUPREME, GIVE THEM NOTHING GIVE THEM NO REASON TO PUT YOU IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL GIVE THEM NO REASON TO PUT YOU INTO A PRISON.
GIVE THEM NOTHING. IF POLICE SHOWS UP, SAY "OFFICER I AM JUST A CRAZY GUY THAT'S ALL"
ESCAPE EVERYTHING, DO NOT DRIVE FAST, YOUR CAR'S INTERRIOR IS BLACK SO THEY WILL USE IT TO CONTROL YOUR MIND. BE CAREFUL, DRIVE SAFELY.
WHEN YOU SHAVE, SHAVE SLOWLY, I DO NOT WANT ANY CUTS ANY BRUISES, PREPARE FIRST. CALCULATE EVERYTHING.
Maybe I'll just grow a beard rather than having to do your kung-fu shaving training.
WHEN YOU WALK, WALK NICELY, DO NOT TRIP AND FALL OVER ON A KNIFE OR A ROCK.
It's so hard to avoid those loose knives all over the ground.
I WANT YOU 100%. CLEAN AND BEAUTIFUL. ONE MISTAKE AND YOUR FINGER BREAKS, AND YOU CANT TYPE ON THE INTERNET FOR A WHOLE YEAR.
That sounds...heavenly.
I WANT THOSE FINGERS HEALTHY AND QUICK AT THE SAME TIME. SPEED IS GOOD BUT SAFETY FIRST. BUT IF YOU DO BREAK A LEG OR A FINGER, IT'S COOL. YOU DID IT FOR A REASON, HAVE NO FEAR, YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT, YOU WILL GET YOUR REWARD LIKE NO OTHER.
These are all good points. 1) Don't break your finger or leg. 2) But if you do, it's cool. 3) Be fast! 4) But be careful!
BUT IT IS MY WISH TO SEE YOU IN 100% SAFE FORM. 100% SHARP, 100% GODLY, 100% SLICK ENOUGH TO AVOID PRISON AND PAPER CUTS.
Oh no! Paper cuts!
IF YOU CUT YOUR FINGER PUT A TAPE ON IT AND MOVE ON. BUT IT MEANS YOU FAILED A LITTLE BIT, SO KEEP IT IN MIND SO YOU CAN BE BETTER NEXT TIME AROUND.
Keep that in mind, everyone, next time you suffer a paper cut: You are a failure.
THAT'S HOW I BECAME SUPREME ANYWAY. THAT'S HOW I WOKE UP ANYWAY. AS LONG AS YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YOU GOT A PAPER CUT AND HOW IT HAPPENED, THE NEXT CUT WILL BE A LOT LESS PAINFUL.
This is what experts call a "paper cut tolerance."
TRUST ME, IT'S NOT A MISTAKE BY YOU, IT'S THEIRY JEALOUSY AND HATE THAT SHOWS UP IN DARK COLORS AROUND YOU, TO BRING YOU DOWN.
Whose? The paper's?
LISTEN TO THE SONG ON YOUTUBE "YOU KNOW MY NAME" by CHRIS CORNEL,
Clearly it's not a requirement to actually know his name, or at least how to spell it.
do not think of yourself as RACIST just because you feel like BLACK is a bad color, BLACK PEOPLE TOO WANT YOU TO GIVE THEM THE ANSWER SO THEY TOO CAN BECOME IMMORTAL BEINGS.
"do not think of yourself as SEXIST just because you feel like WOMEN are stupid"
IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A "WHITE TRASH" IGNORE THAT, THEY ARE BEING CONTROLLED BY SCIENTISTS THAT DO NOT WANT YOU TO RISE INTO POWER.
The decades-long clash between scientists and white trash continues.
BLACK PEOPLE WILL THANK YOU SOMEDAY FOR YOUR HARD WORK TO GIVE THEM THE IMMORTALITY DATA. DO NOT FEEL RACIST ONE BIT AS YOU EXECUTE THIS TASK.
Date: Someday
Dear Crazy People,
Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Black People
FEAR NOTHING BUT BE SLICK, DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET HURT. I WANT YOU SAFE, YOU ARE MINE.
That is so sweet.
EAT MEAT TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, BEST SAFEST BURGERS ARE AT IN-N-OUT. DRINK SOME COFFEE TOO IF YOU WANT. ENJOY IT, IT WONT AGE YOU AS LONG AS I AM IN CHARGE.
It would be the most brilliant guerrilla marketing move ever if this was one big In-N-Out Burger ad.
SHOW ME SOME REAL EVIL SKILLS BABE. LET'S FUK THIS PLANET UP FOREVER.
That's a line from the script from my "Natural Born Killers" sequel, "Natural Dead Murder Kings."
DO NOT EVEN TRY TO FIND ME TO BE HONEST FIND ME INSIDE YOUR DREAMS, I DO NOT GOT TIME FOR YOUR SORRY ASS. YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN NOW.
I was yours just three sentences ago, and now I'm on my own? You're giving me whiplash here, summertimedance.
YOU GOT THE SECRET, USE IT TO BECOME WEALTHY
I...I don't know if I'm strong enough without you.
go watch EMINEM ON YOUTUBE. THE NAME OF THE SONG IS "CRIMINAL".
I'd rather not.
"USE IT TO GET MYSELF WEALTHY" * WINK WINK *.
Ohhhhhhhh...I still don't get it.
READY FOR SOME REAL ENTERTAINMENT?
After that Eminem video, I sure am.
ALSO WATCH "INSIDE THE FIRE" BY DISTURBED... WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS GF, HAPPENED TO YOU TOO.
I dated a shitty nu-metal singer?
YOU ARE JUST TO BLIND TO SEE IT. SO LET'S KILL SOME JEALOUSY LET'S FIX INFINITY.
That's a line from my Infinity Gauntlet sequel, "Infinity Is Broken, Y'all."
IT'S NOT JUST EARTH, OTHER PLANETS ARE WAITING TOO PEOPLE ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE EVERY DAY ON OTHER PLANETS TOO, LET'S MOVE IT.
Aw, that's cute. He thinks Green Lantern comics are real.
OH BY THE WAY, DEAD PEOPLE CAN BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE AS WELL, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
That's a weird idea to introduce right here at the end of your book-length e-mail, guy.
WATCH ME DANCE.
You want me to watch you dance, and you sent this e-mail in the summer. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
S.U.M.E.R. K.O.L.C.A.K.
O.F. C.O.U.R.S.E.
( now you know my name, there is only one person by this name in the whole world, i am not a clone like you failures. & i do not hide in the shadows like you mass murderers.
ENLIGHTENMENT YOU SURROUND ME
MY YOUTUBE IS: youtube . com / summertimedancings
The account's been suspended, but you'll live on in us, summertimedance. Forever.
Comments
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It's over? It's OVER?!
No. No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ITS OVER BECAUSE THEYRE JEALOUS OF MY WHITENESS! SOMEONE GET ME AN IN-N-OUT BURGER I MUST GET THE SCIENTISTS TO WAKE UP AND SEE! AND ow goddammit I just got a papercut...
...Thank God. I've been saved by this paper. This email was an insanity virus.
What would I have to do to get you to forward this e-mail to me? Who do you need dead? PLEASE send me this e-mail!
Posted by: TheCatastropheSyndrome | July 30, 2009 12:18 PM
It is ISS policy that in cases such as this, all emails are officially the property of the ISS, and will be sold for the highest bid.
You have, as of yet, not bid.
Posted by: Reverend Rogue | July 30, 2009 1:42 PM
Wow. That e-mail just got crazier and crazier. I feel a strange emptiness knowing it's done.
Though, maybe that emptyness is the result of too many dark colours around me.
I would like to bid on this e-mail. I must have it, to foreward to everyone, everywhere. I offer up a vivsected hobo and a half-drunk bottle of brandy.
Posted by: Gal Sabre | July 30, 2009 4:48 PM
Well, King Oblivion PhD. has the last word on the sale of the e-mail, however, I must tell you that we have at least 3 other offers right now from people offering un-experimented upon hobo's and full bottles of brandy. And, oddly enough, one offer consisting of a case of Red Bull and an Autographed copy of Captain Freedom's book.
Posted by: Reverend Rogue | July 31, 2009 1:45 PM
It's over? Comedy is all the poorer for it.
Oh and I bid twelve and half lackeys and a mostly functioning Economy Size Ray Gun.
Posted by: Darth Obvius | August 1, 2009 3:19 PM
It's HIM!
It must be the guy in the WHITE jacket at the back!
http://www.summertimedancing.com/
Also, creepy shapeshifting.
Posted by: Duke Homogeneity | August 14, 2009 4:49 PM
It's HIM!
It must be the guy in the WHITE jacket at the back!
http://www.summertimedancing.com/
Also, creepy shapeshifting.
Posted by: Duke Homogeneity | August 14, 2009 4:53 PM
Joker must be trying to kill people through laughter again. Someone wanna call out Batman?
Posted by: The Evil Giggler | October 27, 2009 8:02 PM