by Doktor Maxwell von Puppykicker the Third
For those of you who haven't used the internet in the last few months, let's recap. Evony is an online, browser-based strategy RPG (read: it's a shitty Civilization ripoff). This would be par for the course as far as online games go, were it not for two things.
1. They have apparently amassed enough money to purchase banner ads on every single website on the entire internet. (if Google Ads stays true to form, there will be one right next to these words.)
2. Their ads look like this:
Oh, and then there's this.
Normally, that last one would be an obviously photoshopped parody of the other images. Not this time. That's an actual ad.
Now this kind of advertising would be bad enough if they were selling a game like The Erotic Adventures of King Codpiece Part 2: Quest for Sexcalibur, but the game itself is nothing but another generic, crappy MMORPG, with nary a royal titty to be seen.
(Editor's question: Do they have a business model based solely on disappointing everyone?)
Now we can't really fault the advertisers here, since it's basically their job to be creepy and shameless. Besides, deception, misogyny, and copyright violations are all admirably supervillainous traits anyway. However, we can fault the hundreds of internet users who actually click these crass, exploitative ads because they're too stupid to find pictures of large bosomed women on the internet on their own. Thanks to your astounding stupidity, every single comedy, entertainment, and gaming site in all of cyberspace now looks like... well, like the rest of the internet.
Comments
You do realize that regardless of the quality of the article, everything that is posted between part 1 of the most incredible email ever to part 4 of the most incredible email ever that isn't part 2 or 3 will in retrospect be simply 'the filler between the parts of the most incredible email ever', right?
With that said, I find this filler amusing.
Posted by: TheCatastropheSyndrome | July 21, 2009 11:23 AM
I like how they also mislead you by noting that you can "play secretly" as if playing a cheap-looking RTS is equal to looking at porn in the matrix of things you wouldn't want people to know you were doing.
Posted by: King Oblivion Ph.D. | July 21, 2009 11:52 AM
...that's what those ads are for? Huh. I just assumed they were for dating sites on first glance.
Posted by: Gal Sabre | July 21, 2009 3:00 PM
"The Erotic Adventures of King Codpiece Part 2: Quest for Sexcalibur"
....SOLD!
Posted by: BG | July 21, 2009 10:40 PM
As I type this, there is indeed an actual ad for Evony in the sidebar, which is funny in at least three different ways.
Posted by: Doktor Puppykicker | July 21, 2009 10:49 PM
I would personally not anyone to know I was playing Evony. I'd rather be caught watching porn.
Posted by: MonsterKitten | July 22, 2009 2:14 AM
I kind of love how the very first ad has that sword pointing right to the lady's boobs.
Like you needed help finding them or something.
Also there are TWO Evony ads on my sidebar.
Posted by: JTN | July 24, 2009 10:09 PM