We are taking the fight straight to the heroes.

Apparently, there are vast underground hardcore groups of heroes who have begun uniting to make the world a better place. In order to prevent these do-gooders from creating the equivalent of a real world Justice League, I've gone undercover to infiltrate and eventually undermine these efforts.

First, however, I had to see what I was dealing with. I began with a forum we have visited before, The World Superhero Registry.

IMPORTANT « on: July 08, 2009, 09:27:05 PM » Quote I am Nitro and when I saw that there are so many across the world just like me I didn't believe it, I don't want to be another minor teen who put on a mask for the fun of it, I want people to ask as many questions as they need until the world has this story straight. I cannot stress enough how serious Oxide is, maybe more so than Black Monday Society

Teen, you say? Interesting. And the name Nitro. Generic, if you ask us. One thing we didn't realize was that there is a whole demographic of minor teens who are putting on masks just for the fun of it. This could be bad! Even we supervillains have a reason for wearing masks. It's usually so we can go to the grocery store without being accosted by some roving hero out to make a name for himself. Doing it just for fun would just be juvenile.

Furthermore, there appears to be something called the "Black Monday Society," which sounds like the title of an old Culture Club song, but whatever. "Oxide," which I'm betting is a crappy dance club, appears to be more important. Intriguing. We must learn more.

Pictured: Idiots

I quote now from Cityweekly.net.

They hide their true identities behind elaborate masks and costumes, patrolling the streets of downtown Salt Lake City in groups of two and three. People react to them in various ways: Older folks tend to ignore them. Drunken young adults want to pose with them for photos. Teenagers tend to hiss, growl and shout in their general direction, while children walk right up to them and ask what they are doing. Despite the masks and secret identities, they're completely open about their purpose.

Ahhh. We've apparently uncovered a group of superheroes. Either that, or a bunch of guys who like dressing up a bit too much. Lets see how one of the members responds when questioned about their costume.

A girl of about 14 breaks from the mass of tittering boys and bravely approaches Inferno. He's wearing a red hood and tunic, thigh-high pleather boots, and a matching black pleather mask that covers his eyes and nose. She breaks the awkward silence: "Can I ask about your costume?"

Inferno nods, unconsciously touches his red goatee and answers: "I'm part of the Black Monday Society."

The girl cocks her head. "The Black Monday Society?"

"Yeah," Inferno begins, a little more comfortable now, getting into a well-worn groove, "We just walk around, you know, patrol the streets."

Yeah, cause..ya know, guys walking around in Halloween costumes patrolling the streets is apparently pretty normal in Salt Lake City, which is noted not being populated by religious nuts.

I knew now that I had no choice. To find out more about these societies, I had to infiltrate the ranks of heroes themselves.

Hello to all of you fellow heroes! For several years now, I thought I was alone. Trying on tight fitting costumes in private, feeling insecure about how I looked...about my thoughts on how I could serve my community and exactly how I would go about doing this. I mean, I've always wanted to be looked up to by the younger people in my community. In short, I wanted to be a super hero...and take down all the super villains in this world. I mean, they're all smug, thinking there isn't anyone who can take them down, right? Thinking there's not anyone willing to put their life and their mothers underwear on the line to serve humanity.

I've been trying really hard to develop some sort of unique "power" of sorts. Maybe something like having a whip that makes people tell the truth or something. But I think that one's been taken. Anyway, does anyone have advice for aspiring young hero on the rise? I would appreciate all the help I can get! Thanks!

The bait is set, kiddies! Stay tuned for more on this in depth report from the front!