Here's the thing about a contingent of -- not all, but some -- people who read comedy articles on the internet: They ruin everything. Or, at the very least, it seems that's their aim (though, hey, ruining stuff is something we can get behind a lot of the time).
Take, for instance, a small but vocal group of commenters on this site that feels that, when we write a piece that calls out Hollywood types for defending a child rapist or rakes a New York Times columnist who wants to send old people to Mars over the coals, we aren't living up to the evil standards you've set for us and that we should change our name. (I discussed the group on this week's War Rocket Ajax.)
This despite the facts that 1) the whole joke of this site is that it's about how some supervillains got bored and decided to waste time writing jokes about pop culture, and we figured people would either get it or not care enough that we had to explain it, 2) we've been writing non-related shit since pretty much day one, 3) a site that updated every day with some new thing that had to be related to supervillainy and super-standard comic-book evil would be terribly unfunny and boring as fuck, and 4) it's really all just a gimmick an excuse to write comedy articles under ridiculous pseudonyms and with a snarky attitude.
So, thanks commenters, for making us have to explain the joke.
But, you know, forcing or giving an explanation is only one of the ways insistent nerds ruin online comedy. There's lots of other bullshit they do, too!
They believe internet lists should be definitive.
Because obscure blogs on the internet is the document of record when it comes to the best and worst Masters of the Universe toys and the lamest hip-hop songs of all time, lots of commenters go to great lengths to make sure lists are comprehensive and well-researched. They also believe the opinions expressed in many lists to be wrong!
They're doing the Lord's work, they are.
(This information was delivered directly from the brain of a commenter.)
They prefer accuracy to comedy.
We aren't the first ones to bring this up, but it bears repeating.
Here's my question, though: If you're so worried about things being accurate (and don't give a damn about the fact that sometimes the facts have to be stretched in the name of humor), why read comedy sites? Why not go hang out at the U.S. Census bureau's website and dispute that stuff? Or better yet, Wikipedia? There's got to be lots of fodder there, guys.
They can run your website better than you can.
But they can't be bothered to start and run a competitive one, so they'll just tell you how to make yours better! Rarrrrrgh!
They demand a lot from their free entertainment.
And they'd better get their goddamn money's worth!
They think comedy writers are the most forgetful people on the planet.
They assume they're just so absentminded that they totally forgot all these different things from their comedy piece, when, in reality, there's just no good joke to make about those things. For instance: It's really hard to come up with a joke about forgetting things in comedy pieces.
Comments
Actually...there are several glaring omissions in your so-called article skewering commenter behavior. I don't want to cast any undue aspersions on your critical acumen, but have you bothered to, I don't know, read blog comments before indulging in such spurious and whole-cloth castigation?
First of all, the US Census Bureau's website, www.census.gov, does not even ALLOW comments.
Second, insofar as your 'free entertainment' principle is concerned, it is more an investment of one's time than one's money that is the issue - time that could be spent reading The ISB or maybe even Dave Campbell.
Furthermore....no, I can't keep this up.
Posted by: Jeff | October 13, 2009 11:30 AM
You forgot . . .
Just kidding. You're right. Commenters are awful.
Posted by: Mojo | October 13, 2009 12:10 PM
Hey ISS, I love you guys. I think youre really funny all the time. Just wanted to let you know.
Posted by: Saint Kittie | October 13, 2009 12:51 PM
Excellent comment, "Jeff." I'll have the minions release your family just as soon as the check clears.
Posted by: Operative Rache | October 13, 2009 1:19 PM
The kitten skullfucking was a joke?
Fuck you guys, I trusted you.
Man, fuck you. Srsly.
Posted by: Skullmaster | October 13, 2009 3:14 PM
But if you're villains, shouldn't you be writing as if you SUPPORT the trolly commenters who can't be pleased by anything and should probably just go find a website more attuned to their sense of humor even though they never will because they just love whining about how they understand your sense of humor better than you? After all, they are being evil. You're losing your satirical edge!
(That was a joke. Please don't release the bees.)
Posted by: Spleeny | October 13, 2009 5:34 PM
Trolls are awesome - when they're on your bridges or your payroll. Do you know how many bridge related suicides would be prevented if trolls were on bridges these days? According to computer generated models and the pizza I'm eating, the total number of suicides on, or in the vicinity of, bridges, or bridge related structures would decrease by approximately 17% over a period of 5 years while maintaining a statistical reliability of nearly .43! Trolls could troll anyone about to jump with their repartee and insightful commentary which would result in less people turning the San Fransisco Bay into "Cannibal's Chowder."* Think about that!
*Recipe located in 9 out of 10 Discount Voodoo Emporium stores nationwide. Purchase your copy today!**
**The above plug did not result in any financial gain on the part of Villainous Godot.***
***Yes it did.
Posted by: Villainous Godot | October 13, 2009 8:34 PM
Oh, looks like the International Society of Supervaginas strikes again!
Keep crying, girls; that'll make it better. Thing is, looking at your back catalog, you used to run with the whole theme of "we're villains and here is our humorous tongue-in-cheek maleficent perspective" and, lo, it was good. Thing is, that's what made you guys unique, it gave you something special which nothing else on the Internet provided. As I've ripped your little asses for already, it's not that you're not funny; it's that you're not unique.
We could go to Cracked or Something Awful for the same stuff that we've been getting here lately, but it wasn't always that way. You guys are losing your vision and are all too often falling back on the same mundane perspectives that can be found on any number of comedy websites.
Don't be pussies, guys. Pussies are for dicking, not for being.
Posted by: LEANDER | October 15, 2009 3:43 AM
Thanks for telling me what the website I started and have pretty much run exactly the same way for two-plus years did back when it was cool, guy!
Hope you spending all that time coming to a site you hate is working out for you! Maybe you'd be better served going to those sites you mentioned. I hear those commenters LOVE being cocksuckers like you are.
Posted by: King Oblivion Ph.D. | October 15, 2009 8:18 AM
But seriously, Dr. King, can you get started on that International Society of Supervaginas site? I need it. For my research.
Posted by: Kyle | October 15, 2009 11:53 AM
no u faget!
Posted by: LEANDER | October 17, 2009 8:36 AM