That's right, just five years after no one went to see "Van Helsing," one of the brilliant minds behind the "Scary Movie" franchise is dissecting it with that group's characteristic surgical-style parody in "Stan Helsing," coming out today on DVD. (It was released into theaters in a few very stupid cities last week.)
It's got everything: A black guy in a Superman costume, Leslie Nielsen in drag and the most irritating official website ever because the terribly inaccurate cursor is the the aforementioned black Superman.
Here's the trailer:
Let's take a closer look, shall we?
0:07: Did they call their production company "Essential Entertainment" on purpose? Because that's probably the funniest thing in this whole trailer.
0:25: SIGH.
0:29: Who knew that Jason's mask was made out of record and his fingers were made out of needle?
0:36: Looks like Leslie Nielsen is taking Bea Arthur's death really hard.
0:46: What's this? Fake porn parody titles? Oh man! Show me more original jokes, trailer!
0:55: I'm sorry, trailer, but Chuckie is not one of the six biggest anythings.
1:00: Hey! That's what I said when I found out this movie existed! Synergy.
1:08: That's not funny.
1:16: That's not funny.
1:25: Oh, I see what they've done here. They've turned old wisecrackin' Freddy into a Flava Flav parody. As if either of them were anything but parodies of themselves already.
1:30: I like how their proof of it being the "sexiest" is a shot of two very confused girls and another one involving the sexiest of all yard grooming tools, the leafblower.
1:39: It's funny that anyone in this movie would roll their eyes at anything.
1:46: It's nice that they got Keenan Thompson to say that line so there's not even a hint of subtlety here. Also: I never thought I'd say this, but doesn't it seem like Keenan's above this material?
1:53: It's not a horror parody without a dance sequence with a guy dressed like Obama set to a song about a freak party.
2:10: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE BEAT UP A KID OH MAN
2:21: This actress was clearly hired for her eye-rolling ability.
2:22: Changing "slaughter" into "laughter" reminded me of "The Dark Knight." And reminding me of a good movie was probably not what this trailer should have done.
2:27: I'm glad the official title is "Stan Helsing: A Parody," because otherwise I would have definitely thought it was "A MAD satire by the usual gang of idiots."
Comments
It's this kind of thing that makes me hate humanity even more than I already do.
This is also the kind of thing which makes me glad that King O and his henchmen exist.
Posted by: francesca caccini | October 27, 2009 5:55 PM
I weep for Kenan Thompson's fallen career.
Posted by: MaxtotheMax | October 27, 2009 10:05 PM
AUGH
if i were in charge this type of thing would still happen, but it would have somekind of horrible death penalty attached.
Posted by: Soylent Robot | October 28, 2009 6:40 AM
It's not fair that audiences can't choose which movies this will be previewed in front of. Seeing this trailer on the big screen in a crowd of people will arguably be the worst experience of anyone's life - especially if someone in the audience laughs at it.
Posted by: Senor Taco | October 28, 2009 11:53 AM
Meh. Funny story. I was also thinking I weep for Keenan's fallen career.
Posted by: Colonel Masters | January 2, 2010 10:17 PM