November 20
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
What it's about: Really dramatic, high tension stuff apparently, even though the actors seem to be talking like it's all a concert by some played-out band like Death Cab for Cutie or something.
What to expect: Girls can't ride motorcycles, lol. Also, just a wild guess here, they're changing what can kill a werewolf from a silver bullet to a glitter spray.
Planet 51
What it's about: An astronaut (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, apparently talking through a white-guy filter) lands on a distant planet where the aliens are like people and they think he's an alien! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! The height of ribaldry!
What to expect: An important lesson about how people are mostly the same, despite appearances, etc., etc. Also, poop jokes.
November 25
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
What it's about: Fox Reed Richards takes his best friend, his girlfriend and her brother into space for an expedition, but they are zapped with fox cosmic rays and end up with fox superpowers. Meanwhile fox Victor Von Doom builds his master plan.
What to expect: No, I'm kidding. It's about a fox (George Clooney) building a team to take on some mean farmers. It might be okay, I dunno.
Old Dogs
What it's about: Three dudes (John Travolta, Robin Willians and Seth Green) get trapped and a zoo and are attacked by various animals for an hour and a half (based solely on the trailer).
What to expect: "From the director of Wild Hogs." Take from that what you will. (Also, the guy can apparently only direct movies that have words that rhyme with "hogs" in the title.)
The Road
What it's about: Bleak. Oh my God so bleak.
What to expect: BLEEEEEEEEEE(Happy Thanksgiving)AAAAAAK
Ninja Assassin
What it's about: A ninja. Who apparently assassinates people. What a concept!
What to expect: The perfect movie for anyone who loves the illusion of blades COMING RIGHT AT YOU OH SHIT
Comments
Man, Robin Williams is getting really creative at finding new levels of fail. *Shakes head sadly*
Posted by: Darth Obvius | November 16, 2009 10:44 AM