0:02: Normally, I would question the need for two title cards for Stormsink's production company, but we're getting a lot of important information here. In title card one, we discover his affinity for tornadoes. In the second, the aforementioned nWo and Halo fandom, as well as the fact that it's apparently StormsInk, not StormSink, which is originally what I thought it was, kind of like the opposite of a storm drain.

0:07: Okay, three title cards is definitely too many and I am pissed off now.

0:14: Stormsink understands the importance of recording your video movie review as you visibly fall asleep and succumb to swine flu on camera.

0:23: "Personally, I thought the movie was great." Okay! End of review. Awesome. Now, I assume you will doze off and snore for the remaining 9 1/2 minutes or so. So get on with it, I guess.

0:54: "Adaption" is a poor adaptation of the word "adaptation."

1:02: Somebody's angling to get on a DVD box cover!

1:22: "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace" was my fourth out of the top four Christopher Reeve Superman movies.

1:35: So, to restate his point: "New Moon" is his least favorite Twilight book because it is slow paced, but the movie is "heads-over-heels" better than the first one because of...the slow pace? Am I understanding this right?

2:36: That soundtrack includes Thom Yorke, Grizzly Bear, Lykke Li and Bon Iver. I think Stormsink may be my exact opposite, as the soundtrack is the only thing I find remotely interesting about "New Moon."

3:28: "If you read it in the book, you don't need to see it on the big screen." I do agree with that.

3:47: It's true. Two hours and ten minutes is the perfect length for a movie, whereas two-twenty is SO LONG OH MY GOD WILL IT EVER END.

4:19: I've listened to this at least four times now and I still have no idea what he's saying.

4:53: I love how the implication here is that everything else in the Twilight series isn't an attempt to shove shit in our faces.

5:18: Hold it. Wait. In the "Twilight" books, the chick has Spider Sense that makes her see the vampire guy? This happens?

5:36: Yeah, it's way more exciting in movies when people don't do things like ride motorcycles.

6:36: This has officially turned into a story my aunt would tell me.

7:09: Hey dude spoiler alert come on

7:31: Director, screenwriter, they're all the same.

7:36: Oh, great. Explaining.

8:31: It sucks so bad when you're a director and you've got all kinds of stuff going against you.

8:47: "That's not fair, Jasper!" It's probably too much to ask for this line to really be in the movie.

9:40: This is an old movie reviewing technique. Stating something, then restating the same thing, just with pronouns.

9:55: That's your what? That's your what, Stormsink? I need to know! Come back!