January 8
Daybreakers
What it's about: Vampires have taken over Earth and are farming the remaining plain old humans for blood, but supplies are running out. Meanwhile, the leader of the humans (Willem Dafoe) tries to start a revolt against the vampire leader (Sam Neill) with the help of a confused vampire (Ethan Hawke). Of course, that's sure to really go well, since the humans are outnumbered about a billion to one by immortal monsters.
What to expect: A really preachy "farming is evil" message a la "Food Inc.," except with humans instead of pigs and chickens. At the end, there'll be a whole text thing where it'll tell the audience to buy their humans local and start their own blood gardens.
Youth in Revolt
What it's about: Michael Cera (Michael Cera) creates a new persona for himself, Michael Cera with a Mustache (Michael Cera with a Mustache) to help him score with some girl who thinks she's hot shit.
What to expect: Man some girls always thinkin' they hot shit but that don't mean they are. That's the message of this movie.
Leap Year
What it's about: A girl (Amy Adams) with extraordinarily plot-convenient bad luck flies to Dublin to propose to her boyfriend because John Lithgow make up some bullshit about girls proposing on Leap Day. But then she meets a cab driver guy who she falls in love with by the time-honored method of contrivance.
What to expect: Since Dee from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is in this, I expect the big surprise ending to be that this was all a Charlie plan to get with a waitress, which means all the other characters end up wronged and embittered.
Crazy on the Outside
What it's about: In his directorial debut, Tim Allen stars as an ex-con surrounded by a cast that's too good for this movie.
What to expect: Except for Ray Liotta. This is pretty much his speed now.
January 15
The Book of Eli
What it's about: Hey, you ever played "Fallout 3?" Well, this is that more or less, but in movie form, about 98 hours shorter, and starring Denzel Washington.
What to expect: Given that I'm all for playing 100 hours of "Fallout 3," and I don't care even a little bit about seeing this movie, maybe it's not so similar.
The Spy Next Door
What it's about: In this Jackie Chan vehicle, he goes from awesome famous (yeah, famous) spy to...babysitter! Also, it features a cast not good enough for this movie.
What to expect: Honestly. Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez should not be allowed in films. Even this one."
Comments
Youth in Revolt could be a perfect Villain Origin movie. But they'll probably pussy out and let Michael Cera absorb Evil Twin Michael Cera and become a harmless mixture of the two.
Posted by: ComputerKing | January 6, 2010 12:10 PM