February 19
Shutter Island
What it's about: A fast-talking federal marshal (Leonardo DiCaprio) whose apparent job is to go to weird places to investigate them goes to a weird place run by Gandhi (Ben Kingsley) to investigate it. Then, wouldn't you know it, weird shit happens!
What to expect: Imagine Martin Scorcese making a David Lynch movie, and you're well on your way.
The Ghost Writer
What it's about: Finally, a big-screen adaptation of the PBS children's show classic! Word! Though it's disappointing that Anne Hathaway, who was attached to be Lenni, had to leave the project. Still, Martin Lawrence appears to make a great Grandma Jenkins.
What to expect: Oh, so it turns out it's a Roman Polanski movie that has nothing to do with mysterious spirits that rearrange writing to spell out messages. It's probably better for the kids that it isn't.
February 26
Cop Out
What it's about: Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) and John McClane (Bruce Willis) star in a movie together. Somehow, it looks like a complete piece of shit.
What to expect: Did you know Kevin Smith directed this? Hopefully he can add another line to his resume: "Made a movie with Tracy Jordan and John McClane themselves look like a total piece of shit."
The Crazies
What it's about: A small-town sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) notices regular people in his town seemingly losing their mind and going nuts with weapons on people. That can only mean one thing: They've had enough of Hussein Obama's socialist America! They're not going to take it anymore and they're standing up as true patriot heroes!
What to expect: For those lazy spend-o-crats in Washington to finally stand up and take notice!
Comments
I had no idea Kevin Smith directed Cop Out. I don't think I've seen it mentioned in a single commercial or trailer. It makes me wonder if the studio is ashamed of him or if he's ashamed of the movie.
Posted by: Spleeny | February 14, 2010 12:51 PM
The Crazies: Proof that, somehow, you can have a thing like Bush take office for eight years and STILL think you have the moral\intelligent\sane high ground.
Posted by: The Evil Giggler | February 14, 2010 5:00 PM