Subjects' names: Unknown

Subjects' powers: Slowness, longevity

Why this power seems good: Wouldn't you want to live as long as a turtle? And, you know, win that race against the rabbit by going slow and steady? And have all kinds of patience so you could spend a lot of time planning shit to fuck up the Flash's life?

Why it might actually suck: Imagine trying to get to Target to buy supplies. People would be honking at you like crazy. In the line at the store, everyone would be pissed because you'd take like an hour to write a check. And you'd be old! It'd be a perpetual senior citizenry. And that's no way to live, folks. That's no way to live.