Last night I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my whole family was dead!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
The police!
The police who?
Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband has been in an accident.
I just flew in from the Caribbean and boy, is there a lot of poverty.
I go to the doctor, he says I'm too fat. I say, "I want a second opinion." He says, "You have terminal cancer."
A Southern preacher, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. There, they see proof that God doesn't exist.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I'm not sure, but this is a good time to talk about how many attorneys, as millions of other professionals, are saddled with near-unpayable student loan debt.
What did one blonde say to the other?
"I'm leaving my husband."
"Hey, who's on first?"
"No one. No one is."
Comments
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because of modern farm technology the chicken is genetically predisposed to gain so much weight it can bare move around let alone cross a road.
Posted by: carrot | March 19, 2010 11:20 PM
Ohohoho, the misery of others makes me feel better about my own mundane and pathetic existance
You know, my grandma was quite the charatcer ;D
She had Alzheimers
Posted by: Gortax, Destroyer of Worlds | March 20, 2010 12:09 AM
There once was a man from Nantucket
With a d*** so long
That on his honeymoon, he ruptured his wife's cervix
And she bled to death
He committed suicide on the 2nd anniversary of her death.
Posted by: Mr. Sadface Clown | March 20, 2010 2:50 AM
A man walked into a bar ...
The insurance company refuses to pay his claim because they say he did it intentionally. He's on welfare now and the bank fore-closed on his home.
Ouch.
Posted by: carrot | March 20, 2010 9:11 PM
Excuse me if I don't laugh after reading your post.
I'm blind.
Posted by: guayec | March 20, 2010 10:56 PM
nathan is a fag OLOLOLOLOL
Posted by: Chris | March 22, 2010 10:13 AM
also he is fat :)
THIS TROLLING WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY NESTLÉ
Posted by: Chris | March 22, 2010 10:16 AM
It is so hot out here...
How hot is it?
It is so hot out here that your mother collapsed from heat exhaustion. There was nothing they could do for her. I'm sorry.
Posted by: The Caniballistic Vegan | March 23, 2010 12:13 PM
take my wife... no really, please take her, she is addicted to heroin. Please, get her to rehab or detox or jail for Christ's sakes.
Posted by: Citizen Bitch | March 31, 2010 11:39 AM