May 7
Iron Man 2
What it's about: Innocent billionaire industrialist playboy Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) just wants to spend a nice quiet evening with his group of dancers that dress up in costumes that resemble the cybernetic explosion-making suit he made for himself. But then some Russian dude (Mickey Rourke) with some kind of a problem with Stark having made all kinds of weapons and shit fucks up his racecar! Man, it is on now!
What to expect: For a powerful, moving story about responsibility for the mistakes of one's past, punctuated with poignant AC/DC songs.
Babies
What it's about: Babies.
What to expect: Babies.
May 14
Robin Hood
What it's about: Robin Longstride, a.k.a. Robin of the Hood (Russell Crowe) don't much like the government gettin' all involved in his life and tellin' him what to do! He he gets together a ragtag group of average, hardworking, white citizens and decides to go show that tyrannical king a thing or two about what liberty really is! (Clearly this thought would have no appeal to any group in today's political environment.)
What to expect: A crash course in self-seriousness from the master, Russell Crowe. Even when he shoots a hilarious arrow into his wanted notice, he's scowling!
Letters to Juliet
What it's about: Some girl with nothing better to do (Amanda Seyfried) decided to get all involved in the private, 53-year old business of some lady (Vanessa Redgrave) who has long moved on and probably doesn't ever want to think about it again. But weirdly, enough, the guy the old lady used to be in love with isn't dead! And her angry grandson for some reason stops being mad about being dragged to Italy for a wild goose chase!
What to expect: For the movie to play out exactly like the trailer, just, you know, about seven times longer.
Just Wright
What it's about: A very nice woman with a great personality (Queen Latifah) gets tired of being told she's nice and has a great personality. Luckily, a player for the New Jersey Nets (Common) who has no idea how to take care of himself encounters her at a gas station! Then, he starts dating her hot friend! Then, he gets injured and she becomes his physical therapist! Then, her hot friend leaves him under the realistic notion that she could be dating a starter! Then, it's impossible to predict what happens!
What to expect: For Common and Queen Latifah to drop the therapist/NBA player act and seal the romantic deal with a freestyle rap battle. (If this actually happened, I would pay money to see this movie.)
