Wednesday, August 10, 2011 was a momentous day. It wasn't the day casino owner A. Samuels dropped his smash-hit single "Livin De Life" on Youtube, but it was the day most of the internet became aware of its greatness. If you somehow missed it, here it is, in all its glory:
As is always the case with such a complex and challenging work, discussions of the song's true meaning have abounded in the more intellectual corners of the Web. But we haven't seen anything really get to the heart of A. Samuel's genius. "Couldn't there be some other way?" we said aloud to ourselves last night, as we sat awake wondering if we were truly livin' de life.
Then we noticed something. YouTube has a feature which transcribes a video's audio track into subtitles. This might be it, we thought. This might be the key to "de life." Follow along with us on our journey of discovery.
The first thing you learn in the casino business? Throw out "for." You don't need "for."
Here we go. We're starting to transcend now.
You wouldn't imagine an entrepreneur of friendship to go fighting or on missions, but I guess that's business.
Hahahaha I know it!
While pointing straight ahead. Just like you, A.
It's good to dream big, A. Samuels.
Does the military do light cameos, though? And aren't they the ones oppressing the people of we?
Wars do cost a lot, that's true.
This is awfully political stuff, A.
Let me guess. The lamestream media.
That's slang for "putting the away from the hole," I think.
Take that, java zone! Finally, some justice.
I guess they're the ones who got the java zone to concede?
That empty lot's going to need some work, A., I'll be honest with you.
That's...that's a little racist, A.
So...you want the whites to die? Well, that's a different kind of racist.
You know, A., you raise some strong points about Eastern collectivism here.
And now South Africa, too? All I can say is, watch out, Jimmy Carter.
What is it about, then, wise one?
Light University? Do you mean...heaven?
That's some unorthodox theology right there.
Shiites are Muslims, but I'll let that slide. So pantheism, then?
We...are our own God, then?
In a tips-based religious system. Wow.
Oh, cool, finally some gambling tips.
So...we're betting on legislation? Is that what we're doing?
All this financial stuff goes over my head. Dumb it down a little?
Okay. Totally following you now.
So bet on business and war? That seems kind of obvious, A. It's like you're just blowing smoke here.
Are they enemies with the people of we?
That's Wall Street, right? "Fix itself island?" Or at least, that's what they thought. Man, if only you had been in charge, A.!
I never really understood the housing crisis until this second. Thank you, A.
Michael Manslaughter knew what was up.
Halloween was Michael Myers, though, wasn't it? Not Michael Manslaughter. But I get what you're saying about spite. When other kids got Skittles and I didn't, that was some bullshit.
Good call, A. People are always gonna need to see.
I know, right. We're never truly here, are we? You sure your name isn't A.-ristotle?
No welfare, am I right?
Gordon Ramsay, you mean?
You're a great philosopher, but that's just shitty business, A.
Ohhhhhh. Don't get the light part-time. Get the light full-time. Sorry I doubted you, A.
I know, man. I see you rockin' the salt-and-pepper.
Wha...what? A., are...are you going to prison?
What? Bail? They saying you a flight risk? Those damn lawyers! They did this to java zone, too, I heard!
There's got to be a way you don't have to go inside, A. Got to be!
What are you trying to tell, me, A.? They Live? The aliens have taken over and only you can see them? That's why they're putting you in jail?
Oh God. Oh no. This is what you've been trying to tell me. The alien overlords are going to put us in human prison camps! I was supposed to do that! Damn it all!
Why didn't you warn us earlier, A.? Why keep this to yourself?
But I believe you, A.!
A. Just what are you gonna do with your light?
Yeah! Let's get out of here!
Okay, hang on.
All right, I'm out here.
What? What does that mean? A., wait! Wait, I don't understand!
Don't let the aliens get me! I want to live! I want to live de liiiiiiife!