The ISS Takes on: Comics on TV, Part 2

by King Oblivion, Ph.D.

On Wednesday, we did the more-noble-than-we-should work of pairing up seven independent comic books with cable networks that could develop programs based on their stories.

We figured that, while we were at this too-pleasant task of..."helping" people, we might as well throw some more names onto the pile. So here are six more.

Invincible on...TEENNICK

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It's a perfect match! Invincible is the story of a teenager struggling to deal with the pressures of school, relationships, summer jobs, his parents, caring for a younger brother and occasionally punching someone's brain out. Every TeenNick viewer can relate to that.

Empowered on...STYLE

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Quick, what's the first thing you think of when you think of Adam Warren's Empowered? That's right! Clothes! Okay, it's really more about of a lack thereof, but so was Dr. 90210. And if you're worried that Empowered's bent toward humiliation and putting its protagonist in excruciatingly uncomfortable situations somehow doesn't fit with Style, check out an episode of How Do I Look? sometime.

Casanova on...A&E

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What better network than the one that brought us Criss Angel: Mindfreak, Paranormal State and Gene Simmons: Family Jewels to bring us the adaptation of a comic with a character like magician-maybe-messiah David X, a whole storyline about a sex island, and Casanova's gender-bending? Maybe one of Matt Fraction's new stories in the comic could be a nail-biting, timeline-shattering crossover with Parking Wars.

The Sixth Gun on...THE HISTORY CHANNEL

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The History Channel seems less focused now on being a 24-hour Hitler channel and more on having pseudo-experts talk about how Nostradamus predicted aliens would mate with humanity next year or some sort of Birdzilla terrorizing Texans. With those things in mind, a Old West-era story about a hell-gun a Pinkerton is trying to protect to avoid a demon apocalypse doesn't sound all that far-fetched.

Usagi Yojimbo on...ANIMAL PLANET

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Look, we all love cute animals. Animal Planet has made a killing off of that particular thing we all share. But what they haven't done is capitalize off of humanity's desire to see rabbits, cats, dogs, foxes and other woodland creatures fight each other with samurai swords. Not nearly enough, friends. Not nearly enough.

Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose on...CHILLER

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Upon first glance, it may seem that the cornucopia of nudity and mysticism and haunted vaginas that is Tarot would fit most readily on a pay-per-view porn channel, like SPICE. But, let's be real. That comic is pure horror.

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